Secret Love
by msashlyjudd8
Summary: What if Jasper was secretly in love with Edward. How will Edward react when he finds out?. JXE SLASH DON'T LIKE DONT READ!
1. Chapter 1

Secret Love

E POV

It is a warm sunny day today and here I sit alone at my piano. Bella, Nessie, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett and Esme had decided to take a trip to New York to buy Nessie a new wardrobe because she would be starting school in the fall. Carlisle was on call at the hospital the whole weekend, that left only Jasper and I home alone.

Truthfully, I was a little afraid to be at home alone with Jasper. The past few weeks Jasper has been avoiding me and When we do come in contact with each other he quickly shields his mind from me. Only a couple times did I catch flashes of hands, my piano, and the last time Jasper and I had hunted together. I was confused and didn't know what to make of these thoughts. I left Jasper alone about it until he decided to stay home when everyone else went shopping. Usually Jasper would be by Alice's side wherever she went. I wondered if he would tell me what was bothering him.

As I sat there at my piano playing a soft melody, I could hear Jasper in his room pacing back and forth. In his mind he was berating himself for something. He kept repeating to himself "this is just wrong, its wrong" over and over in his mind. I stopped playing my song and sat there listening. Immediately Jasper went silent. His mind blank.

J POV

"Oh God, please tell me he didn't hear my thoughts. Why did he stopped playing? Please start playing again". I said to myself in my head. He didn't play again though. I stood there frozen as I listened to Edward walk up the stairs and stop outside my door. I could feel he was confused and almost jumped when he knocked on the door. I sat down on the edge of the bed and ran my fingers through my hair.

"Come in" I called out trying to hide my panic. The door opened very slowly and Edward took a step in the room. "Jasper whats wrong?" I lowered my eyes and shook my head. "Nothing Edward, I'm just..." I couldn't think of anything to say. Edward stepped in fully and closed the door. "Jasper something is wrong or you wouldn't be avoiding me, or locking yourself away up here." He was right of course but it was just too hard to be around him. What would he think of me if he knew? "Knew what?" he spoke softly looking confused.

I jumped up suddenly and started pacing back and forth again. "Edward...I...I just...I can't." I stopped pacing with my back to Edward. I scrubbed my hands up and down my face trying to make it all go away. A moment later I felt Edward's hand on my shoulder. It felt like my body burst into flames. I shuttered and my eyes closed. "Jasper" Edward spoke very quietly. That was when I broke.

I spun around gripping both sides of his face crushing my lips to his. My surprise attack caught Edward off guard and he stumbled back until his back hit the door.

E POV

When my back hit the door Jasper pressed his body closer to mine. His tongue was trying to pry my shocked lips apart. I felt a wave of lust hit me and I gasped. Jasper took the opportunity to plunder my mouth with his tongue. I could feel that Jasper was hard when he ground his hips against mine. I whimpered at the sensation and without really thinking about it I melted into the kiss.

I tilted my head so Jasper could kiss me more deeply. Suddenly all of the thoughts Jasper had been keeping hidden from me flooded my mind: Me hunting, me playing my piano, me laughing with Bella and Nessie. Every Image was my face or my body or my lips.

I didn't need to breath, but I pulled my lips away and leaned my head back against the door shutting my eyes. "Jasper" I panted. I was confused and very turned on. The proof was growing hard as Jasper ground his hard erection against mine. I moaned and then gasped as Jasper started laying soft kisses along my neck. "I have wanted you for so long" Jasper whispered against my neck. I was about to respond when he bucked his hips against mine. I whimpered and reached my hands around his back pulling him against me.

I should have pushed him away. I should walk out this door right now, but his lips on my neck nipping and sucking made it impossible to put a coherent sentence together. When Jasper got to my Adams apple he stuck out his tongue and licked around it before sucking it gently into his mouth. I cried out and almost came in my pants right there. Jasper suddenly pulled me off the door and pushed me down on the bed, straddling my hips. I pulled his lips back to mine for another searing kiss as I ran my fingers through his soft curls.

Jasper sat up and looked into my black eyes as he ground his ass into my painful erection. I threw my head back on the bed and moaned his name. If he kept doing that I wasn't going to last much longer. I gripped his hips to stop his movements. "To. Many. Clothes." was all I could pant out. Jasper smiled at that and lifted his shirt over his head. Before he could move to take his pants off I sat up and locked my mouth around his nipple. Startled at my sudden movement Jasper bucked against me again and moaned. His hands came up to hold my head against his body.

I flicked his nipple with my tongue and then gently bit down. Jasper cried out and his body jerked. Jasper roughly pulled my head away and crushed our lips together again. He pushed me with is body so I was laying back on the bed again. After a searing kiss I felt down to my toes, Jasper pulled away, standing to remove his pants. I just laid in the same spot too turned on to care that I was still fully dressed. I watched as Jasper kicked off his cowboy boots, unbuckled his belt buckle and let it fall to the floor with a loud thump. He unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, slowly his jeans went south over his narrow hips.

The very defined V that led down to a blond patch of hair was probably one of the sexiest things I have ever seen. I felt myself grow harder just looking at his beautiful body. His jeans slid the rest of the way down to uncover his very erect and dripping manhood. My body shuttered. If it were possible I was even more turned on. "Come here" I croaked out.

Jasper smiled and sauntered toward me in his slow southern way. He crawled up and straddled my hips again. "Your turn to lose some clothes" he drawled to me. His hands went to the top button of my shirt, his lips kissed and licked every inch of my chest as each button was undone. I raised my self to a sitting position to discard my shirt before being pushed back down. Jasper scooted himself further down my legs so he could reach my jeans.

JPOV

I looked down to Edward who's eyes were flat black with lust. His chest was rising and falling, his mouth was half open. I reached my hand out and cupped his very hard member through his jeans. "Oh God" he gasped and threw his head back to the bed. His moans turned me on so much I wanted to hear them again. I quickly unbuttoned his jeans and pulled them down and off his legs. I sat back down on his knees and just looked over his whole body. His body was beautiful. I wanted to lick him all over. I was sure he heard what I thought when I heard a small chuckle.

I reached out and wrapped my hand around the base of his cock. He gasped and groaned from the touch. I squeezed and pulled my hand up his shaft getting a hiss from deep in his chest. I nudged his legs apart and settled between them. Edward had his eyes closed, his head whipping back and forth moaning as I slid my hand up and down his cock. I leaned over and licked the pre-cum off the head and Edwards eyes shot open and his hips bucked uncontrollably. I could hear him whimpering when I ran my tongue around the head. I flattened my tongue and teased the under side of his throbbing head. "OH GOD, Jazz Please!" he shouted as his hips bucked again. I decided to stop teasing him and without warning, plunged my mouth on him all the way to the base.

I relaxed my jaw and allowed his cock to slip down my throat. I heard a startled gasp from Edward. I then swallowed and when my throat muscles tried to close over his member he cried out pushing his hand into my hair. I could feel all his emotions: Lust, Excitement, Fear, and his struggle not to cum. I started bobbing my head up and down, hallowing my cheeks out when I came up. "Edward, let go" I told him in my head. He was thrashing and panting with an almost pained look on his face. "Edward, just let go, It's OK" I chanted in my head.

When his face didn't relax I sucked as hard as I could and pushed a strong wave of lust over him. "OH FUCK" he screamed. His body tensed and he exploded in my mouth with an ear piercing scream that shook the walls. I felt him shoot over and over in my mouth as I kept sucking him hard into my throat. His hand was in my hair trying to pull me away but I didn't stop until he stopped screaming. His body fell back to the bed limp and panting hard, with his arm thrown over his eyes.

I could tell he had come really hard. I released him from my mouth after swallowing all he gave me. I crawled and laid beside him, placing a gentle kiss on the side of his neck. I could feel his body was trembling so I pulled him into my arms and just held him. "Are you okay babe?" I asked because he still hadn't spoken yet. Suddenly he curled into my body and sobbed. I could feel confusion, fear and overwhelming joy coming from him. I just rubbed his back until he calmed down. If he wasn't a vampire I would swear he had fallen asleep. I kissed the top of his head and waited till he was ready to speak.

"Jasper?" Edward finally spoke. "Hmmm?" I responded content to lay here as long as he needed. "I love Bella." That confused me for a second. I knew he loved Bella, they are soul mates. "I know." Edward pulled away to raise up on his elbow so he could look in my eyes. "But, I feel something for you too, what we just did was amazing." I smiled and leaned in for a kiss. "I agree, it was amazing"

Edward laid back on my chest with a sigh. "I wont hurt Bella, I wont do anything to bring her pain." My chest ached a little because I knew I would never have his heart. He placed a gentle kiss on my chest. "You will have a small piece of my heart" he said in response to my thought. "What are we going to do Edward?" I asked him. His hand began roaming over my chest. "We enjoy the time we have left, until we can be together again."

The rest of the night was spent loving each other the only way we knew how. The next day we parted with a kiss. When the rest of the family got home we greeted them with smiles. Edward kissed Bella, I kissed Alice and life moved on. Nobody noticed the times when our eyes would meet across the room. "I love you" I would tell him in my head. He didn't have to respond. I could feel he felt the same.


	2. Chapter 2

E POV

Edward stood at the door of the Cullen house telling the family goodbye. Carlisle and Esme decided to take the family to Seattle for the weekend Christmas shopping. As Edward kissed Bella goodbye he could feel the burning stare of Jasper on his back. Alice had come to the Cottage this morning to tell him Jasper would be staying behind this weekend to hunt with him. Only Edward knew the real reason he had decided to stay. Edward was instantly hard and tried to keep his breathing under control as Alice went on and on about how much fun the shopping weekend was going to be with Bella and Nessie.

It had been three months since Jasper and Edward had been together. Life had moved on, but the increasing sexual tension between the two was almost to much to bare. Edward still loved Bella as much as he did the first time he saw her, but every time they made love, Jasper wasn't too far from his mind. A part of him longed for the raw, sexual, almost rough way Jasper had touched him. Every time he touched Bella's soft feminine curves, he longed for the smooth flat lines of Jasper's beautiful body.

Waving one last time as the cars drove away from the house, Edward, took a deep breath and went back in the house. Jasper stood in front of Edwards piano waiting. Edward shut the door and leaned his body against it, his eyes on the floor. He know it was wrong to want Jasper. He know if even one person found out, his life and probably Jasper's would be over. Edward raised his head and his eyes met Jasper's. The tension in the room was electric. Flashes of there night together three months ago were playing in Jasper's head. Edwards breathing picked up and his hands balled into fists.

"I want you" Jasper told Edward silently. Edward was fighting with everything he had to stay where he was. He locked his jaw, and closed his eyes, breathing deeply through his nose. His body was reacting to Jasper and he knew his will was fading. A flash of Jasper's mouth around Edwards cock played in Edward head and he gasped. His eyes flew open and his back came off the door. His legs were carrying him to Jasper without his permission. Jasper's stance broke and he started toward Edward when suddenly there was a knock at the front door.

Both men froze and just stared into each others eyes. "Jacob?" Jasper asked in his mind. Edward nodded his head slowly. Breathing hard and turned on, Edward turned and made his way to the door. He took one long breath to calm himself and opened the door. "Hey Edward, I was just bringing Nessie's jacket back to her, she said she wanted to wear it this weekend..." Jacob stopped and narrowed his eyes. "Whats wrong with you, you look sick?" Jacob said in his mind. Edward took a deep breath putting on his annoyed face he used with Jacob most of the time. "I'm fine mutt, is there something else you wanted?"

Jacob quirked his eye brow at the mutt remark. "whoa, someone is in a bad mood, how come you didn't go shopping with the rest of them?" Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Jasper and I stayed home to hunt" Edward said looking back to the spot where Jasper had been, but was now gone. "Ahhh, well have fun I gotta run, I have a pack meeting. Tell Nessie hi if she calls" Jacob said half way down the front stairs. Edward closed the door without another word.

"Stupid mutt" Edward said to himself. Jacob always had a way of getting in the way weather it was Bella, Nessie or now Jasper. Looking around Edward noticed that Jasper was nowhere around. He thought about going to see if he was in his room but decided against it. He decided instead to play his piano.

Edward took two steps towards his piano when he felt two arms surround him from behind and soft lips kissing the back of his neck. Edward gasped and closed his eyes, leaning his head forward. Jasper had discovered the first time they were together that Edward loved when he kissed his neck. When Jasper started sucking and nipping this side of his neck, Edward shuddered and moaned. Jasper's hands started roaming around Edwards still clothed chest. "Jasper" Edward moaned.

"I need you" Jasper said silently. Edward spun around and crushed his lips to Jasper's, pushing him against the wall. His hands came up tangle in his soft blond curls. Jasper moaned in Edwards mouth as he ground there painfully hard erections into each other. Edward pulled back and started ripping at Jasper's clothes. "Fuck, I need you now Jasper" Edward said breathing hard. Both men stripped out of their clothes and came back together for a searing kiss. Jasper's hands came down to feel and squeeze Edwards ass, pulling him hard against himself. Both men moaned as their extremely hard and dripping cocks rubbed together. Edward pulled back and leaned his head against Jasper's breathing hard. "I need to be inside you Jasper, bend over the couch" Edward panted into Jasper's mouth.

Jasper smiled and leaned in to kiss Edward once more hard and deep. "I want it hard and fast" Jasper told Edward in his head. Edward turned Jasper around and pushed him against the couch, kissing and nipping at the back of his neck. With the palm is his hand Edward pushed The other Vampire over the back of the couch, displaying Jasper's sexy tight ass. Jasper gasped and his eyes closed as Edward pushed one finger inside him very slowly. "Your so tight Jasper, your going to feel amazing when I'm inside you." Jasper could only whimper and push his ass back toward Edwards hand. With Edwards other hand he began messaging Jasper's soft swollen balls. Jasper sucked in a breath and his legs started trembling. "Edward, please...please" Jasper begged.

Edward pulled out his finger and leaned over to kiss between Jasper's shoulder blades. He grabbed Jasper's hips tightly and thrust in all the way to the hilt. "Oh Fuck" Edward screamed. "Baby you feel so good, you don't know how long I have wanted to fuck you like this" Edward moaned as he started moving in and out of Jasper fast and hard. Jasper was moaning and pushing his ass back with each stroke. The house phone started to ring but both men were to far gone to care. Jasper was holding on to the couch for dear life as Edward slammed into him with abandon, moving the couch forward each time he thrust into Jasper.

"Oh god, Edward, I'm gonna come" Jasper screamed. Edward reached up and grabbed a handful of Jasper's hair yanking his head back nipping at the side of his neck. "Come for me Jasper, I want to hear you scream." Edward anchored his hands on the back of the couch on either side of Jasper's body and slammed into jasper as hard as he could. "Oh Fuck, Edward" Jasper wailed as he came, shooting all down the back of the couch. Edward moaned as Jasper's ass spasm around his cock, he thrust into Jasper once, twice, before throwing his head back and screamed as he came hard deep inside Jasper. Both boys fell to the floor in a heap breathing hard. Edward landed on his back, Jasper landed half on half off Edward. Both to spent to move.

A few minutes later when both men had come down from there orgasm Jasper moved around to lay next to Edward. He kissed the side of Edward's neck and laid his head on his chest. "That was amazing" Jasper whispered. Edward wrapped his arms around him and kissed the top of his head. "Yes it was, I really needed that." Jasper leaned up on his arm to look in Edward eyes. "I love you" but, Before Edward could say anything his phone started ringing next to him from his jeans where they hand been thrown. He reached for the phone and looked at the screen. "It's Nessie" He said not moving from his position he answered. "Hello?"

As Edward talked to Nessie Jasper got an evil idea. "Hi Nessie, how is shopping going baby?" Edward continued oblivious to Jasper's plan. "Yes, Jake was here earlier to drop off your..." Edward gasped and looked down as Jasper had taken his cock in his mouth and was now sucking him deep into his throat. "Daddy?" Nessie called from the phone "Um...yea..." Edward threw his head back and tried to keep his voice level. "Sorry Ness, Jake dropped off your...jacket...earlier" Edward was working really hard to keep up the conversation as Jasper was assaulting his now hard cock with his mouth and tongue. "You weren't mean to him were you dad?" Nessie asked.

Edwards mouth was opened to a silent moan. "Um...no Ness I wasn't..." Edward had to stop as his body jerked when Jasper bit down gently on the head of his cock. "Okay dad I'm gonna go, do you wanna talk to momma or wait till later when we get to the hotel?" Jasper, hearing the question sucked Edwards cock as deep and as hard as he could. Edward's body Jerked violently as he tried to keep from coming. "Um...no baby...I will...call momma later" His hand was gripping the phone so hard he could hear the plastic protesting. "Okay dad, I love you. Bye" Nessie said. "Bye baby" Edward managed to get out.

He snapped the phone shut and it dropped to the floor. Jasper chuckled around Edwards cock as Edward threw his head back and moaned loudly. Jasper knew Edward was close and wanted him to come extra hard so he snaked his hand down and thrust a finger deep in Edwards ass curving it until he brushed against Edwards Prostate. "Oh FUCK" Edward screamed and he came hard in Jasper's mouth. His body curling upwards from the magnitude of his orgasm. Edward tried to twist away from Jasper's wicked mouth, but Jasper held him down with his other hand on Edwards torso. "Ohfuckohfuckohfuck" Edward kept screaming and squirming as Jasper kept messaging his prostate and sucking his cock deep into his throat. Finally Edwards body collapsed back to the floor. Jasper pulled his finger out slowly as Edwards body jerked, his body still sensitive from his orgasm. Jasper let Edwards cock slip from his mouth as he crawled up to lay on Edwards chest. Edward wasn't thinking coherent yet when Jasper smiled "So, do you still love me?"

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End Note: Whew, Okay that was hot. The phone part just popped into my head as I was writing the first part and I thought it would be hot. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. Review and let me know.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note: Sorry it took me so long to post, I was trying to figure out where this story was going to go. It looks like the whole family might find out soon.**

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**Previously: "So, do you still love me?"**

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**J POV**

**I expected him to laugh and maybe pull me down for a kiss, but when his breathing had calmed he didn't speak. He got up off the floor and found his clothes. I sat on the floor still naked as he got dressed and climbed the steps to his old bedroom and slammed the door. I could feel he was angry, I just didn't understand why. "Thanks for making me feel cheap Edward" I said in my mind as I found my clothes and moved the couch back to where it was suppose to be.**

**I went to the kitchen and found a dish towel to clean the floor and couch of any traces of our activities. When I was finished I heard Edward talking on the phone to Nessie. He was apologizing for being distracted the last time they spoke on the phone. He told Nessie he was watching a new movie on TV. In reality I was between his legs with his cock deep in my throat sucking him into Euphoria. As hard as he came I knew he enjoyed it**

**When coherent thinking was possible again after his orgasm I could sense he was worried and angry. My guess was he was worried that Nessie and Bella would find out what we had been doing. I stood in the living room, all traces of our time together erased. This was only our second time together, but the way things ended I felt dirty and ashamed. I was in love with Edward. As much as I needed him the face that he would run to his room and call his family made me feel used.**

**I never should have told him I loved him. I never should have started having sex with him. I was just lucky Alice hadn't found out yet. Like Edward I loved my wife as much as the first time we met. She was extremely good to me and always knew how to keep my emotions calm. Alice has never once made me feel cheap or ashamed after having sex. Why then couldn't I get over Edward? Why did my body crave his every time I am with Alice? Why did my heart ache every time I saw him kiss Bella?**

**When the sun went down and Edward hadn't come out of his room I knew he regretted what we did. I got to my feet and walked to the back door. I needed to leave. I needed to get as far away from him as I possibly could. If I didn't I would end up in his room apologizing and begging him to love me. I just hoped that Alice could find someone els to love, someone who was worthy of her love. Before leaving I stopped and looked toward the stairs. "I'm sorry Edward. It's my fault" I said aloud knowing he would hear every word. I closed the door behind me and ran into the Forrest.**

**E POV**

**Why am I being such a coward? I practically threw Jasper over the back of the couch and took him hard and fast, then he decided to pleasure me while I was speaking to my daughter on the phone. When the bliss wore off I was angry. I was so close to exposing us on the phone to everyone. I was angry sure, but to leave him naked and alone on the floor was just wrong. I could hear in his thoughts, he was ashamed and he felt I was making him feel cheap.**

**I called Nessie and made sure she didn't suspect anything, she laughed off my movie excuse and hung up telling me they were all headed to a different store. I sat down on my old leather couch to listen to Jasper's mind. He thought I regretted having sex with him and that I didn't love him back. The truth was my body craved his. That small piece of my heart I told him about had grown. My heart craved him to. I didn't think it was possible to love two people as much as I loved them.**

**I thought about Bella and how hard I fought to keep her and now we have a family. The thought of hurting her was killing me, but the thought of hurting Japser was killing me just as much. How was I suppose to choose? Bella is my wife. I vowed to be faithful to her. Jasper to the outside world was my brother, but in reality he was something much deeper then that. I had to ask myself if I was willing to give one of them up. I had no answer.**

**"I'm sorry Edward, It's my fault" I heard Jasper say before he left the house. His thoughts told me he was leaving for good. He was leaving so I didn't have to make a choice. I felt my heart drop, pain filled my chest. I wanted to go after him and tell him I loved him, but I knew my life with Bella would never be the same if I did. I started pacing back and forth, torn as to what to do when my cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and saw it was a text from Alice.**

**ALICE: IF YOU LOVE HIM, GO AFTER HIM.**

**My mouth hung open and I nearly dropped the phone. She knew. Alice knew and she was telling me to go after him. I was to shocked to move. Did this mean Bella knew as well? Would she leave me? Would I ever see Nessie again? The phone vibrated again.**

**ALICE: HURRY BEFORE HE GETS TO THE OCEAN, BELLA DOESN'T KNOW.**

**I turned and ran down the stairs and out of the house. I picked up Jasper's scent and fallowed it. I had to make him stay. I didn't know what was going to happen now that Alice knew about us, but I couldn't lose him. I was running as fast as I could and soon his sent became stronger. I knew he was close. I slowed and walked into a clearing where I found him. He was sitting against a tree, his legs were pulled up against his chest and his head was leaning on his knees. I walked over and gently touched his shoulder. Jasper jerked his head up and flinched away from my hand.**

**I stepped back a few feet and shoved my hands in my pockets. I could tell he was angry with me. He lowered his head back to his knees. "I'm sorry for everything Edward, I just stopped to hunt and then I'm leaving" Jasper said in his mind. I started to walk closer but his head came back up and the look in his eyes told me not to come any closer. I stopped but his eyes held mine. "I don't want you to leave Jasper" I said just over a whisper.**

**Jasper rose to his feet slowly. His eyes bored into mine and he laughed without humor. "You don't want me to leave, but you can fuck me and then lock yourself in your room for the rest of the day without a word" He turned his back and pulled both his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry Jasper, I was just scared. Nessie might have heard us...I just needed..." I trailed off and took a deep breath. He whirled around. "Needed what Edward? Needed to make sure your perfect little family didn't find out about the huge mistake you left on the floor?" I winced at his words. "Jasper" I tried to interject. "No...Edward it's fine, I get it. You don't love me, you were just using me."**

**Jasper turned back around and started to walk away. "Jasper please don't walk away..." I called after him. "I need you" I whispered. He stopped then, but didn't turn around. I took a chance and walked behind him. He was fighting with himself in his head weather to tell me to fuck off or to turn around and kiss me. I stepped closer and leaned my head between his shoulder blades, my arms wrapped around his shoulders. "Please Jasper, don't leave me" My voice broke and I had to swallow a lump in my throat.**

**We stood there for a long moment in silence. Jasper didn't move. I could feel his resolve breaking. I raised my head and kissed him behind the ear. I heard a soft gasp and his head fell forward. I removed my arms from around him and walked to stand infront of him. His head was still leaned forward and his hands were in his pockets. I put both of my hands on either side of his face and gently pulled his head up to look at me. His eyes were sad and turned on at the same time.**

**I started to lean forward to kiss him, but he flinched back slightly and took one step back. I stepped forward again and pushed my hands into his hair holding his head as I leaned forward again to kiss him. I touched my lips to his, his lips didn't respond and he tried to pull his head back but my hands held him in place. I leaned forward so my body was flush with his. I stuck out my tongue and traced his bottom lip, trying to make his lips respond to mine. He let out a breath through his nose but his lips stayed stiff.**

**I reached my hands down to his hips and pulled his hips against mine. I wanted him to feel what he does to me. I ground the lower half of my body against his. I removed my lips from his and started to kiss and lick his neck. I thought I heard a small whimper but I wasn't sure. He was determined not to respond to my advances, but I was just as determined to make him crack. I reached around him and grabbed his ass and squeezed. He squirmed a little and brought his hands up to my shoulders to push me away. I didn't move though.**

**His hands were gripping my arms trying to remove them from his ass when I bit gently bit his neck where it meets his shoulder. He gasp that time and groaned. He was going to break any second now. I bit him again harder this time and then licked where I left teeth marks. That's when I felt like I was flying. Suddenly I was on my back on the ground. Jasper Had my hands pinned over my head, his face was just inches from mine. His eyes were seething. "Do you think it's funny Edward to tease me?" he spat in my face. "You cant just come out here and have sex with me to make me stay and the next time were together run away again because your ashamed, I'm not that desperate Edward" he screamed in my face.**

**I struggled to get my hands free but he held me down. "I'm sorry Jasper, I shouldn't have left you on the floor. I'm not ashamed of you or what we did, I was just scared." I lowered my head to the ground and closed my eyes. I was screwing this up big time. Suddenly Jasper's lips were on mine and his ass was grinding down on my extremely hard cock. I moaned into his mouth and kissed him back. I tried to get my hands free but he held them where they were with one hand. His other hand came down to tear my jeans from my body, my shirt was next. My back arched and I moaned when Jasper's hand wrapped around my cock. I was so close I needed him to stop, I needed to be the one pleasing him. His lips left mine and started nipping and licking the side of my neck. "Jasper" I moaned.**

**He started sliding his hand up and down my cock, when he touched the pad of his thumb to the sensitive head I cried out and tried to get away. His body had me pinned down and his hand was like steel around both my wrists. The hand curled around my cock was moving and squeezing hard up and down my cock, I was going to come if he didn't stop. I wanted him to be inside me when I came. "Jasper...baby...oh god... take your clothes off I want you inside me when I come" I tried frantically to get him to stop but he just kept nipping the side of my neck and colour bone. He acted as if he hadn't heard me as his hand sped up to an inhuman speed. I was fast approaching orgasm. "Jasper...please" I begged for him to stop. "I'm...oh god...Jasper...plea....aahhh" My back arched and my head flew back as I came hard all over my chest and Jasper's hand. His head came up to look into my eyes as he continued to stroke me through my orgasm.**

**When my body finally relaxed back to the ground Jasper moved close to my face as if he were going to kiss me. "There, you got what you wanted Edward, now it's you're turn to be left naked on the ground" He released my wrists and got up walking away. I sat up and turned watching him walk toword the trees at human speed.**

**"Jasper" I whispered "Alice told me if I loved you to come after you" His step faltered as he came to a stop.**

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**End Note: So, do you think I should let the family find out or keep it a secret? review and let me know.**


	4. Chapter 4

E POV

I stood from my position on the ground and, watched as Jasper slowly turned around. His beautiful gold eyes that just a few moments Ago were seething, were now wide with shock. "Alice knows?" he asked with a breathless whisper. I slowly nodded my head as I Reached down to find what was left of my torn clothes.

"You fucking told Alice?" he screamed with seething eyes once again. I held my clothes in front of my naked body as I backed up three Steps. "No...I...I didn't tell Alice, she sent me a text after you left." His frame relaxed slightly as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "She told you to come after me? Does that mean everyone else knows?" I shook my head and took a step closer. "No, she only said to get to you before you got too far and that Bella didn't know."

Jasper closed his eyes and shook his head as if he couldn't believe the situation we had gotten ourselves into. "I'm so sorry Edward, I never should have started this..." he trailed off and turned so his back was facing me. Jasper, we have to talk about this. We have to make a choice" I slowly walked so I was standing right behind him. "I love Bella" I said putting my hand lightly on his shoulder. "But, I love you too. We can t continue like this, it s unfair both of them."

Jasper turned and pulled me into a hug, burying his face in my neck. "I love you" he said against my skin. "Come on, let s go home" I said taking his hand leading him toward the house. When we got home I quickly took a shower and put on clean clothes, and joined Jasper in the living room. We held hands on the couch for a long time just staring into the fireplace. Finally Jasper broke the silence. "What are we going to do Edward?" I took a deep breath squeezed his hand tighter. "I think the only choice we have is to tell Alice and Bella how we feel, and hope they don t kill us for it."

Truthfully I had more to lose then Jasper, we both had wife s of course but I had a daughter to think about. I fought so hard for so long to keep Bella in my life. She gave up her humanity for me; She gave me a beautiful daughter and most of all unconditional love. I needed her so much. I thought about the love that she once professed for Jacob and almost snorted out a laugh. I was so smug then, knowing that she did and always would choose me over him. I knew she loved him and she probably always would even now that she is a vampire. I cringed at the laugh Jacob would get out of this situation.

Nessie. I found myself in love with two completely different people. Two that were so equally loving and prominate in my life. If Nessie hadn't been born I would say my love would be 50-50 Jasper and Bella, but she was born. She was my miracle child, born to the two people who rightfully never should have met or fell in love. She is so pure and innocent and beautiful that it hurts me deep inside to think of anything hurting her. As much as it hurt me to think about it, my choice had been made.

J POV

How did my life get this completely and utterly out of control? All the cliche stories you hear of vampires livening and only lusting for blood, nobody ever tells the messy stories. I am a Vampire, but underneath it all I am still a man. I have human needs and feelings, I am able to love and laugh and be happy. When I met Alice all those years ago, I was so lost, and...I don't know if unhappy is the right word for it, but I needed someone to love me and tell me that life didn't have to be so hard. She took my hand and gave me here love unconditionally. She made me see that I didn't have to be ashamed of who I was.

Now I find myself sitting here, holding the hand of this beautiful man who has come to mean more to me then I even would have guessed. I think what first drew me to Edward was the pure innocent way he lived his life. He lived for so long unhappy, until he met Bella. I watched everyday as he fell deeper in love with her. Slowly he began to smile and I knew she was the one. She was the one who was sent to make him happy and show him the love that Alice had shown me every day. Then there is Nessie.

Nessie was a surprise to all of us. Most of us thought she was a danger and needed to be destroyed as she grew bigger and started to break Bella's fragile human bones. When she was born and started to grow, nobody could question that she was special. If possible she brought this whole family closer together, especially Bella and Edward. I knew they would both die before they would let anything hurt her.

When I really thought about it, the choice had already been made. I loved Alice and Edward loved his family, but that didn't mean we didn't love each other. What Edward and I had was special; we both felt it and experienced it.

I looked down to our joined hands and smiled, I could feel the lump rise in my throat. I looked up into his eyes that told me if it were possible they would be crying. Without speaking we both knew it was over with a trembling bottom lip Edward nodded his head slowly. My breath hitched as I leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. "I love you" I whispered with my eyes closed and my forehand leaned against his. Edward's hand came up to cup my cheek. "I love you too" he whispered. I leaned in for one more soft kiss, before I took his hand from my face and kissed his palm. Without looking in his eyes I stood, his hand slipped from mine as I turned and slowly walked away.

Edward didn't fallow me this time. I opened the door to mine and Alice's room and went inside closing the door. I leaned my back against the door and listened as Edward softly sobbed. I slid to the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees, as I to started to sob quietly.

The rest of the weekend we hunted separately. When we weren't hunting Edward stayed in his cabin and I stayed at the main house. We didn't speak, we needed time to accept and come to terms with what had happened. We loved each other but we had chosen not to tear our families apart. I didn't know if he would ever tell Bella what happened, but I knew once Alice came home we would have to have a long talk. I hoped that my marriage could survive my betrayal.

Monday morning I was sitting in the living room reading. I knew the family was due back today and wondered if Edward would come to the main house to greet them. "Yes" I heard a voice speak as the back door to the house opened. I put down my book and stood looking in his eyes. The mood was uncomfortable and I wasn't sure what I should say. "You don't need to say anything." Edward responded to my thoughts. I smiled and nodded my head. "They are about to turn into the drive way." I nodded again and started to turn for the door. "She already forgives you" Edward said quietly as he turned and walked to the door.

I stood next to the fireplace and listened as Edward was greeted with kisses and hugs from his family. I lowered my head and closed my eyes. Emmett and Rosalie greeted him next, laughing about the amount of shopping Alice had forced upon Bella and Nessie. I could hear Carlisle and Esme softly chuckling watching all their kids rehashing the exciting weekend. I couldn't bring myself to join them, I was ashamed. I could so easily have torn all that happiness away. I didn't deserve to be included in all the happiness. Suddenly I felt something soft against my cheek.

I opened my eyes to see Alice standing in front of me. I expected to be met with anger or looks of betrayal, but her eyes were filled with love. "Come with me Jazz" she said softly and took my hand leading me out the back door and into the woods. When we got a few miles away she stopped and turned pulling me into a hug. I hugged her back tightly; I just wanted to hold her until I could make all the sadness go away. "Jazz, I love you" She said softly. "Can you ever forgive me?" I asked against the top of her head. She shook her head and pulled away.

"Jasper, I know you love me. It hurt me at first to see what was going on, but I know what happened was more than about sex. You have feelings for him." I nodded my head slowly. "Jazz, I knew that he wouldn't leave Bella, I also knew that in some way you needed the companionship from Edward that I have failed to give you." She stepped closer and took both my hands. "I think it would be a good idea if we left for a while. We need to be alone together and reconnect."

I knew Alice wasn't suggesting we leave the family because she was angry. Alice knew I was hurting and that it was hard to be around Edward. I also knew that we wouldn't stay away for long, because Nessie needed her aunt Alice to help to keep her over bearing parents at bay. I smiled and leaned down to kiss her lips softly. "I think that is a great idea" Alice gave me a loving smile and wrapped her tiny arms around my torso.

When Alice and I got back to the house we told the family that we were going to be leaving for a while. Everyone was confused as to why we were leaving, except for Edward who bowed his head and hugged Bella a little tighter. We told the family that we needed some alone time as a couple and we would come back as soon as we could, without giving a specific time frame.

The rest of the night was spent with the whole family together. Alice made Bella and Nessie model all the clothes she bought for them because, we were going to be gone and she wouldn't get to see them wear them. Edward and I would catch each others eyes once in a while as the family laughed and joked and just spent out last night together. We didn't need to say it aloud, but this was our goodbye. It was going to take me a while to get over what Edward and I shared, but when I watched Nessie with her parents I had to smile.

The next morning Alice hugged everyone goodbye, even Edward. After I got all our belongings into the new car Alice had purchased that very morning to accommodate everything, I stepped back into the house to tell everyone goodbye. Edward was the last and he simply shook my hand and told us to come back soon. I nodded and smiled and then turned to leave. "Wait...Uncle Jasper" I heard Nessie call after me. I turned just in time for her to throw her arms around my neck and hug me tightly. Nessie and I were like best friends. We would hunt together and have long talks about Jacob or her parents. She was the sweetest person I had ever met. I was going to miss her. I wasn't sure if we would be gone for weeks, or months or maybe even a year. "I'm going to miss you uncle Jasper" Nessie said to me when I set her back on her feet. I smiled and kissed the top of her head. "I'm going to miss you to sweetheart, behave yourself and if you ever need to talk you have my cell phone number ok?" She nodded her head sadly. I winked and gave her a smile. "Bye, darl'n I met Edward's sad eyes one last time before I turned and fallowed Alice to the car.

E POV

I felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. I held Bella tighter to keep myself from running after him. I'm sure she just thought I was sad, but it was much more than that. The next few months were the hardest. Esme would cry in her room at night at the loss of two of her children. Nessie walked around with tears in her eyes a lot, she missed her crazy aunt Alice and her uncle Jasper, who was the one she went to when she needed advise. Emmett didn't say anything but his thoughts told me he was bummed out at the loss of his brother and wrestling partner. He didn't touch his X box for almost a month after Jasper left. Nobody suspected a thing, and just like Rosalie and Emmett had done a few times, everyone assumed they just wanted to live separate lives away from the family for a while.

I tried to be strong for my family. I loved Bella so much and even though Nessie didn't know it, she saved our family. She made me realize that even though I loved Jasper as much as I did, that I had a duty to keep my family safe and happy. It still hurt a lot to think about Jasper and I would hunt alone sometimes so I could break down or just sit alone for hours thinking about him. I hoped that Alice could fill that piece of his heart that wanted to be in my arms. I still longed to be in his arms sometimes and when I start to get sad I go to Bella and hold her tightly for a few hours. She doesn't say a word; she just assumes that I miss my brother and sister.  
I told myself that someday after Alice and Jasper had returned to the family, and a few decades have passed that I would tell Bella what happened. It wasn't fair for Jasper to be the only one who had to deal with our betrayal. It would probably take me that long to convince myself I made the right choice, when I chose my family over Jasper. My body wanted him and a large part of my heart wanted him to.

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**End Note: This is the end. Thank you all for reading and reviewing.**


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